I am not perfect in the sense that I do everything right But, I am perfect in that I’m just right for them. Happy Mother’s Day. I journaled this to myself today after spending the whole week kicking my own ass. Thought maybe someone else could use the reminder too.
Notes from the Heart of the Universe
I release myself from the prison of worry I step into the freedom of action What is there to be afraid of? Has it always worked out? Have your worst days become funny stories later? Are you being safe? Or are you being free? Were you born to create and live in problems? Why would... Continue Reading →
Have a better tomorrow
Leeches in my brain Leeches in my soul The blood of happiness A distant memory of what was though it has truly never been I lie and say better But the truth is so much worse There was a time I was something A house of cards in a wind tunnel A sand castle built... Continue Reading →
Irrational
Loving you is akin to trying to find the last digit of pi. Irrational. Loving you is like touching my hand to the burner and wondering why it hurts. Tho I swore last time the nerve endings have sizzled and there’s only the numbed sensation of maybe once more won’t. Then I have to wonder... Continue Reading →
Soooo, things I want to remember, let’s see: Defy on Friday, girls date with my Livie Lou Who to Slice of Cake, Michaels, and this super cute new gift store on Saturday, Sky Tavern Sunday, Roller Skating Monday, Costco, catching up on cleaning, and boys shooting BBs today. It’s been a good time. Liv and... Continue Reading →
Home
Home is a word with a heavy connotation. If it were just a place, it'd be easier to describe. Ever since moving out here, home hasn't felt quite right. It's just heavy. We said so many goodbyes, and with a pandemic combined with social anxiety and plain old anxiety creating a near agoraphobic state (deep... Continue Reading →
Limerance, doilies on turds, and other words
Anxiety is running a hamster ball in hell. As everything outside burns, the ball is slowly being filled with water. Like drowning while you're being burned alive. Depression is a riptide. The harder you try to reach the shore, the further you get pulled away. ADHD is feeling like Elle Woods as a Playboy Bunny... Continue Reading →
Requiem
The fire you lit in me Grows colder in your absence I swear I’m better off now, but there’s that part in me that feels suffocated in silence. Your silence. Your is an empty pronoun that could easily be their, because half the time I don’t know who you are except that you’re gone and... Continue Reading →
Brain Dump babbling
I've been having these stomach aches lately - can't tell if it's anxiety or what, but I just have this overwhelming sense of doom. I'm not sure what's behind it, but it's dread and doom. Like bad shit is coming. Sometimes, I seem to have strong inklings of things and other times, I'm being led... Continue Reading →
Brain dump babble
Okay, I have about 30 minutes to write before I have to jet off to appointments and whatnot. This is the first time I've been alone in awhile. I don't have much in the way of profundity, but I had an awesome morning in the car with the kids. They were blasting Shinedown and we... Continue Reading →