The sneaky and slithering s crawling on your tongue tinged with bile and a remembrance a time when lies were little and white your body betrayed your mind A word you couldn’t utter until your tongue swelled to the point of release the ick of finishing a word you never wished to say Like choking... Continue Reading →
Well, I'm working through a lot of stuff right now because there are a lot of milestones/triggers/memories, whatever in this timeframe. From August to January, every year, I am most likely to go insane or start hurting myself in some manner. Whether it's picking up old habits or inventing new ones, I struggle up or... Continue Reading →
Talking about rape, abortion, adoptions - also the last 20 years of my life. Don't read it if you don't want to read about yucky stuff. Go anywhere else on my blog, there's plenty.
Black and white thinking, all or nothing, and catastrophizing were descriptors of me. I used to think if I worried about or thought about everything enough, I could control it. In some ways, maybe I took expect the best, plan for the worst too literally. In reality, I would just worry about everything and drive... Continue Reading →
I’ve had two concepts in my mind. The first is: Anxiety is fear in disguise. The second is: Anxiety is a great teacher if you allow it. I read “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield, and he was talking about fear, anxiety, depression, etc. all being forms of resistance. The urge to create versus... Continue Reading →
Dear _____, I have seen you so many times, but you never seem to notice me. I started and stopped this letter so many times, because I don't even know who to send it to. I see your face in my dreams, and I swear I have heard you laugh when the wind blows. I... Continue Reading →
Dear ____, I did not miss you yesterday, and I do not miss you today. A song came on that I knew you would love, and that thought popped in my mind. My emotions said, "I wish you were here to hear it." I took a breath, and exhaled reality: "I don't need you to... Continue Reading →