Progress

I am not perfect in the sense that I do everything right But, I am perfect in that I’m just right for them. Happy Mother’s Day. I journaled this to myself today after spending the whole week kicking my own ass. Thought maybe someone else could use the reminder too.

Irrational

Loving you is akin to trying to find the last digit of pi. Irrational. Loving you is like touching my hand to the burner and wondering why it hurts. Tho I swore last time the nerve endings have sizzled and there’s only the numbed sensation of maybe once more won’t. Then I have to wonder...

Home

Home is a word with a heavy connotation. If it were just a place, it'd be easier to describe. Ever since moving out here, home hasn't felt quite right. It's just heavy. We said so many goodbyes, and with a pandemic combined with social anxiety and plain old anxiety creating a near agoraphobic state (deep...

Requiem

The fire you lit in me Grows colder in your absence I swear I’m better off now, but there’s that part in me that feels suffocated in silence. Your silence. Your is an empty pronoun that could easily be their, because half the time I don’t know who you are except that you’re gone and...

Possessed Noun

I’m feeling less like a pronoun and more like a possessed noun. Though my name has two syllables, I find the constant is less my consonants and vowels and more apostrophe s’s. ‘S Mom/wife/daughter whatever. These hats that I wear so much I forget how to take them off. I know it’s a bad day...

Learning to listen

Do you know the story of Abraham almost sacrificing his son because he was told to? I've been thinking about that lately. Like, what if he was schizophrenic? What if the bible is a lot of mentally ill people doing things that we call mentally ill? That's a weird start, but that's where I'm starting....

What if?

Nothing ruins a perfectly good day like "what if?". What if...? What if...? What if today, I didn't let it? What if today, I tried to take a deep breath instead of reacting? What if today, I remember how much power my thoughts truly have and choose accordingly? What if I'm a radio, and my...

On Gods and Grandma’s

Some days, we're ruled by the head, and some days, it's all the heart. Other days, though, I think there's some special place where the two dance together. It only happens when I a) don't try to make it happen, and b) don't think about it. It's like Fight Club, except you sound crazier than...

The overwatered avocado

Like a raindrop will never strike the same spot twice, I pray that no matter how I think or perceive it, I am changing. Like water can eventually wear away a stone, I pray I can find who I really am behind how I think or how I perceive. Like love can be a cool...

Damned these lies on

Why do we kill dandelions? They're actually a food and a remedy. They're just a flower, but we call them a weed. They grow everywhere like crazy, but they get sprayed and pulled up. It's weird. It's like we pick the dumbest shit to fight the hardest and it makes no sense. Couldn't people just...