The fire you lit in me Grows colder in your absence I swear I’m better off now, but there’s that part in me that feels suffocated in silence. Your silence. Your is an empty pronoun that could easily be their, because half the time I don’t know who you are except that you’re gone and... Continue Reading →
Okay, I have about 30 minutes to write before I have to jet off to appointments and whatnot. This is the first time I've been alone in awhile. I don't have much in the way of profundity, but I had an awesome morning in the car with the kids. They were blasting Shinedown and we... Continue Reading →
I’m feeling less like a pronoun and more like a possessed noun. Though my name has two syllables, I find the constant is less my consonants and vowels and more apostrophe s’s. ‘S Mom/wife/daughter whatever. These hats that I wear so much I forget how to take them off. I know it’s a bad day... Continue Reading →
Sometimes, it's as if my heart becomes a fist that squeezes and slams around my chest. This fist gets labelled as anxiety, and then I breathe and do other things to alleviate it. It never goes away completely, it just gets a little better. That makes me think I need to do more, and I... Continue Reading →
What is up everybody? Anything new, exciting, or interesting? The day is just beginning here. The sun is peeking out over the mountains, shining directly into my eyes, making it an act of blind will to type. My cat is grandiosely showing me his asshole, like I'm supposed to give him a ribbon for world's... Continue Reading →
The hardest part about depression is realizing you’re depressed. We all use words to deceive ourselves. It’s not depression, I’m not depressed I’m just like … miserable and I don’t know why. I just know it’s my fault. I’m not depressed, I’m just really tired and cranky. I’m not depressed, I just generally don’t want... Continue Reading →
Sterilize Sterile smiles, virile lies I’m getting better, my soul has died It is an illness It is insane It is my heaven It is my grave They say it’s catching Like I’m a cough They say I’m crazy I say, so what? Starry eyes, eerie cries Into the heavens I have soared I’ve danced... Continue Reading →
I’ve been in a funk lately. There was 0 creativity, 0 writing (except for endless pages of journals) and 100% feeling stuck, disconnected, uninspired. I’ve been thinking about how happy I was writing years ago and how…not happy that it’s been for years and years. I’ve been wondering if I’m just…a facade. This fake, hollow,... Continue Reading →
The past is chaos, confusion, anxiety, depression. The future is the same. Right now, there’s two feet here. Right here, there’s one breath now. And as long as I remain, I cannot create a solution to find a problem, or a problem to find me.
