If you asked me, (no one did) the hardest part of depression is admitting to yourself that you’re depressed. Following the woman in a black dress analogy, she doesn’t announce herself. She doesn’t even make herself at home. She silently climbs on your back and begins whispering in your ear. Her whispers become the painted... Continue Reading →
I’m 37 tomorrow. Last night, I realized that 3+7=10=1 in numerology. 36 is 3+6=9. Aside from the ability to do basic math, (I’m a big kid now) in astrology, 9 is about endings, and 1 is about beginning. New cycle. New start. In the tarot, 1 is the magician card - the master of the... Continue Reading →
Talking about rape, abortion, adoptions - also the last 20 years of my life. Don't read it if you don't want to read about yucky stuff. Go anywhere else on my blog, there's plenty.
Hoover (is this a god) Dam Sometimes it’s so much easier... to see all the things I want to hate. I want to yell at walls and converse with my carpet. The pillow and I are exploring other options.... But in the shower, sometimes I swear - I caught a glimpse of god. In between... Continue Reading →
Today, 6 days out... Finally got sleep last night. Passed out before 8. I’m closer to where I had wanted to be to leave for the beach, a day late. There’s so many things to do for the movers, we are going to do showings this week, so I needed to get some order for... Continue Reading →
From yesterday, 1 week out from move. Current mantra/hopefully help me keep some shred of me intact: “The family that cries together, flies together” Shirts are soaked in my children’s tears - for days now. My shoulder is soaked with my husband’s tears, and my cheeks are soaked in mine. I tell us all this... Continue Reading →
...Instead of running with anxiety, I’m questioning it. “What is this [discomfort of whatever form] saying to me?” Has been more helpful then “I’ve ruined everything and I am a worthless idiotic sack of shit” (believe it or not!) Earlier today, I did it and then went to meditate, and just now I did it and realized I needed to flop for a few minutes.
I got snake bites in December - it had been something I wanted to do since I was young, so I did it. A happy byproduct was that my lip hurt so badly, I couldn't bite my nails. I was able to grow them long enough to cover them with fakes, and today, I took... Continue Reading →